My toaster and I haven’t been getting along lately. I don’t know what’s wrong. Toasty just hasn’t been himself. Now, to be clear, I don’t actually call my toaster Toasty in real life. I’m not crazy. It just seems like for the purposes of this column it will be easier if I can refer to my toaster by name. I thought about Bob or James or William Arthur Philip Louis Windsor II, but I am sticking with Toasty.